CROSSROADS

I did something drastic the other day. I had gotten so frustrated at how complacent I have become in accepting a lot of bad things that were happening in my life. Although what I did was the bold leap of faith, it has got my mind going like a hamster in a wheel.

I feel it in my gut that things will change drastically for me in the course of the year in regards to my career… if I can even call it that. I only hope that it will be for the better, although it may very well be likely for the worse. I am swinging from moments filled with dread, wondering whether it will all work out, to moments where I feel excited and hopeful that things will turn out amazing. I really hope it’s the latter. it has been a long time since I’ve been excited about anything really.

But lately, I have been feeling like there’s a big clock ticking away in the back of my mind (probably because I’ll be turning thirty soon) and I feel so painfully unaccomplished. I know, life happens differently for everyone and it’s about the journey and all that cliche stuff. I am however awakening to the notion that I am in charge of my own life (obviously)  and I have to make things happen for me.

The thing that’s been keeping me awake at night, (not really, I have been sleeping just fine) is the fact that I have absolutely no flying clue what I would do, if I lost my job. The funny thing, is this deer caught in headlights situation that I have going on. I know danger is looming but I’m not doing anything about it. I am painfully aware of that fact. I know I need to act. I have been racking my brain for ideas.

The problem with being me is that I have more interests than I know what to do with. It’s the multipotentialite thing all over again. Hopefully I’ll be able to amalgamate all my interests and form some semblance of a way of life that will leave me happier and more fulfilled in the long run.

 

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